Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
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- Create Date：2021-04-04 12:53:22
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Brené Brown
- ISBN：0241257409
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Summary
Every time we are introduced to someone new， try to be creative， or start a difficult conversation， we take a risk。 We feel uncertain and exposed。 We feel vulnerable。 Most of us try to fight those feelings - we strive to appear perfect。
In a powerful new vision Dr。 Brené Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability， and dispels the widely accepted myth that it's a weakness。 She argues that， in truth， vulnerability is strength and when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability - fromrevealing our true selves - we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives。
Daring Greatly is the culmination of 12 years of groundbreaking social research， across every area of our lives including home， relationships， work， and parenting。 It is an invitation to be courageous; to show up and let ourselves be seen， even when there are no guarantees。
This is vulnerability。 This is daring greatly。
In a powerful new vision Dr。 Brené Brown challenges everything we think we know about vulnerability， and dispels the widely accepted myth that it's a weakness。 She argues that， in truth， vulnerability is strength and when we shut ourselves off from vulnerability - fromrevealing our true selves - we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives。
Daring Greatly is the culmination of 12 years of groundbreaking social research， across every area of our lives including home， relationships， work， and parenting。 It is an invitation to be courageous; to show up and let ourselves be seen， even when there are no guarantees。
This is vulnerability。 This is daring greatly。
Reviews
Justin Moore
，
Enjoyed this book。 Brene Brown’s personality comes through which helps to connect the reader to the research。 Well-researched topics of how and why we interact towards risks and uncertainty。 Enjoyed several of the anecdotes as well
Amanda Rounds
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Wow。 This book about being vulnerable made me feel vulnerable， and I needed it！ As a parent and a teacher， I want my kids to feel as though they belong and that they matter。 I learned how discomfort should not equate failure， and setting up that expectation as a norm in the classroom and in life will encourage everyone I want to positively influence to DARE GREATLY。 I recommend this book to every single person who breathes。 That is all。
Cate
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This was required reading for one of my grad classes and I’m super glad it was。 Opened my eyes to how rampant shame is in our culture and myself。 It’s like a counseling session in a book。
Norent Khy
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This book taught me once more the difference between shame and guilt。 It taught me once more how this relates to my self-worth （my perception of my own belonging in this world）。Note: The word cultivation is used a lot in many forms in this book， which happens to be one of my favourite concepts。
Kat Riethmuller
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 NarcissismWhen Brené Brown applies the powerful “lens” of vulnerability to narcissistic behavior， she finds that people often act out a “shame-based fear of being ordinary。” That fear is at the heart of the problem of narcissism， even as it offers a way of escaping it。 She says it’s often hard to believe that anyone recognizes your uniqueness， and such isolation leads to the current plague of self-loathing derived from “the number of likes you get on Facebook or Instagram。” Though Brown poses th NarcissismWhen Brené Brown applies the powerful “lens” of vulnerability to narcissistic behavior， she finds that people often act out a “shame-based fear of being ordinary。” That fear is at the heart of the problem of narcissism， even as it offers a way of escaping it。 She says it’s often hard to believe that anyone recognizes your uniqueness， and such isolation leads to the current plague of self-loathing derived from “the number of likes you get on Facebook or Instagram。” Though Brown poses this plague as mostly affecting millennials， older adults also fall prey to feeling invisible。 We must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen。 This is vulnerability。 This is daring greatly。Brené BrownBrown discusses the sources and triggers of shame and explains how to blunt its pernicious power。 She details the differences in how men and women experience shame。 And she suggests that you answer some illuminating questions: What “expectations” define today’s social world and how does “culture” – TV， movies， fashion， Facebook， Instagram， and the like – affect your behavior？ Which of your “struggles and behaviors” spring from self-protection？ How do your “thoughts and emotions” connect to your vulnerability and your “sense of worthiness”？The “Never-Enough Problem”Brown explains that most people can understand the difficulty of personal “scarcity” because they are living it。 When she asks interview subjects to fill in this phrase: “Never （blank） enough，” people quickly write “good， perfect， thin， powerful， successful， smart， certain， safe” or “extraordinary。” To measure yourself against others only harms you。 For instance， she urges artists not to allow their work and its reception to become the primary source of their self-worth。 “Nostalgia” is a dangerous corollary to the idea of never measuring up or being enough。 Consider how， in low moments， you may indulge in comparing your current self with a former， more effective， wonderful version of you。 As with never enough， your conclusions are invariably self-destructive， self-limiting falsehoods。Integrating TraumaBrown describes heroic souls who integrate trauma into their lives and carry on。 These resilient people follow a specific path or course of action even though few other people understand their circumstances。 They undergo the conscious realization that they’ve suffered， embrace professional or personal help， deliberately “work through” embarrassment， and reconnect to their vulnerability as “a daily practice。” They proactively seek a return to being vulnerable， a step that Brown explains often demonstrates even more courage than surviving the initial trauma。Details， Lists and Clear CredibilityUnfortunately， Brown fills page after page with lists。 She outlines her research even though just presenting her conclusions would be more effective and certainly easier to read。 Brown’s academic credentials are beyond reproach。 Her excess of minutiae about her research reads as if she feels the need to prove that she didn’t just think up her insights。 She wants her readers to know that her perceptions stem from diligent and rigorous study。 Granted， Brown’s in a tough position。 She doesn’t want to drive readers away with too much academic material， but she also doesn’t want professionals in her field to regard her as a New Age amateur。 The most difficult and most rewarding challenge of my work is how to be both a mapmaker and a traveler。Brené BrownAnd yet， that is the least likely conclusion astute readers will draw。 Brown is credible， period。 In a field full of blowhards， charlatans and charismatic speakers who lack intellectual attainment or insight， Brown remains unique。 Part of what distinguishes her and makes this work so worthwhile – and connects readers to her insights so powerfully – is Brown’s unassailable sincerity。 Reading her words directly and reading between the lines produces the same insight: Brown has been through every process of the self-work she describes。 She has fought her own demons of pride and shame and faced difficult insights about herself to embrace vulnerability。If Brown gets a little gee-whiz now and then， or falls into unfortunate habits like offering epigrams from Top Gun， or making a reader sort through more facts and figures than anyone but academics would want to read， she still delivers her message with grace， kindness and affection。 She has a gift for describing the ephemara of life and emotion in a way that resonates。 It’s hard not to wander into clichés， but she avoids most of the trite banalities that adhere to this subject realm like barnacles。 Brown’s genuineness and easy prose style help you identify with the emotion in her writing。 That might be her greatest gift to you and will likely keep you returning to those passages that speak to you most powerfully and personally。ShameWithin her discussion of marriage， Brown cites the corrosive effects of shame。 Women who feel shamed by a lack of validation will criticize their husbands to provoke a reaction; this takes the place of genuine emotional communication。 Conversely， men who experience shame when criticized will withdraw – thus further shutting down any chance of connection。 This fuels a vicious cycle of mutual armoring and distancing。 We must walk into the arena， whatever it may be – a new relationship， an important meeting， our creative process or a difficult family conversation – with courage and the willingness to engage。Brené BrownBrown describes how this cycle took hold in her 18-year marriage， and how she and her husband overcame it。 She mentions that they’ve celebrated the 25th anniversary of their first date， and credits the health of their long relationship to “vulnerability， love， humor， respect， shame-free fighting and blame-free living。” Brown describes shame as “painful” and says “perpetuating shame” is even more so。 No one can inflict shame upon you and maintain it as persuasively as your lover， partner or parent。 They have the intimacy to understand your “vulnerabilities and fears。” This is why a shaming assault from those closest to you is the most effective and the most painful。 And it’s why inflicting shame on someone close to you is a toxic betrayal。LoveBrown advocates strongly the healing power of love。 Pretty much every pop song ever written agrees with her and for good reason。 Brown moves into the province of poets and tries to craft a definition of love – as she says， one of the most difficult tasks she ever attempted。 Her definition is her effort to reach out to readers to “start a conversation” about the nature of love。 Loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed。 Yes， it’s scary and yes， we’re open to being hurt， but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved？Brené BrownBrown quotes from her earlier book The Gifts of Imperfection， saying that love emerges from showing your “most vulnerable and powerful self。” She stresses that to experience love， you must “allow” yourself to be “seen and known。” To do that， you must escape shame， which makes people “withhold affection” and destroys love。 Brown describes how she resisted with all her might the concept that you can’t love someone else until you embrace loving yourself。 Now， after “practicing self-love” over a long span of time， she recognizes the positive effect it has on all her relationships。 Brown asks the crucial question: Are you only espousing love – it’s easy enough， after all， to say “I love you” – or are you truly living it？ 。。。more
Melynda DeCarlo
，
Re-read ALL The Brene Brown Books First Quarter 2021
Kirsten
，
Amazing book！
Kevin Lee
，
Not sure I'm ready to dare greatly， but maybe start off with daring moderately。 Not sure I'm ready to dare greatly， but maybe start off with daring moderately。 。。。more
Ioana
，
Skip the book， watch her TED Talk， read her other books that weren't written because of a TED Talk。 Skip the book， watch her TED Talk， read her other books that weren't written because of a TED Talk。 。。。more
Giulia Sergi
，
Non è per tutti， ma per chi sta cercando qualcosa sull'auto-consapevolezza， Brené Brown è assolutamente la mia preferita: ci insegna a capire del profondo le proprie vulnerabilità per rapportarci meglio agli altri， sul lavoro， in famiglia e nelle nostre comunità。 Non è per tutti， ma per chi sta cercando qualcosa sull'auto-consapevolezza， Brené Brown è assolutamente la mia preferita: ci insegna a capire del profondo le proprie vulnerabilità per rapportarci meglio agli altri， sul lavoro， in famiglia e nelle nostre comunità。 。。。more
Kamael
，
This is a great book - so good that is uncomfortable at times。 She talks openly and candidly about the role that shame plays in holding us back and gives a wealth of examples for our personal， professional， and parenting lives。 If you've read her other work， you may find some of this a little redundant - but it is still worth the read （note， I listened to the audiobook which Brene Brown narrates）。 This is a great book - so good that is uncomfortable at times。 She talks openly and candidly about the role that shame plays in holding us back and gives a wealth of examples for our personal， professional， and parenting lives。 If you've read her other work， you may find some of this a little redundant - but it is still worth the read （note， I listened to the audiobook which Brene Brown narrates）。 。。。more
Anisa Pratiwi
，
It feels like sitting side by side with your therapist， except the absence of power relations。 By delicately summarizing her research， personal life and some of the most heartfelt conversation she had， she helps me to understand that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are part of human experience。 We all struggle with our own battles， it is our choice whether we'd choose to use our armor as a shield to harness the scarcity & shame that lies deeply within us， or to come forward with ou It feels like sitting side by side with your therapist， except the absence of power relations。 By delicately summarizing her research， personal life and some of the most heartfelt conversation she had， she helps me to understand that suffering and feelings of personal inadequacy are part of human experience。 We all struggle with our own battles， it is our choice whether we'd choose to use our armor as a shield to harness the scarcity & shame that lies deeply within us， or to come forward with our own vulnerability。 Its a compelling story to reassess our deep connection with the people we love， our child trauma and upbringing， dreams and ambition， and the courage to dare greatly despite the uncertainties。 。。。more
John Hernandez
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Loved it， read it a couple of times。
Sandi Mascio
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Just starting to listen to this version with the author reading her book。After all the events of 2020--COVID-19 lockdowns， rioting in cities， main-stream media bias， political power struggles， social media censorship， etc。--my hackles have already been raised by Brown's highly questionable praise of the "Me Too" and BLM movements。 I will continue to listen。。。 Just starting to listen to this version with the author reading her book。After all the events of 2020--COVID-19 lockdowns， rioting in cities， main-stream media bias， political power struggles， social media censorship， etc。--my hackles have already been raised by Brown's highly questionable praise of the "Me Too" and BLM movements。 I will continue to listen。。。 。。。more
Adina Iancu
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Fresh。 Another side of the shame。 I like it because she had concrete examples in the paraghraps。 Lovely describing。 A brand new start in reconsidering the shame versus the feeling of guilt。 Different sides of the same problem。 What makes people want to change is guilt and not shame。 Shame makes you say "I AM A BAD PERSON"， when guilt makes you say "I'VE DONE A BAD THING"。 Looks similar but the first one makes you believe and feel that you are wrong as a whole， and the second one spoke specific。 Fresh。 Another side of the shame。 I like it because she had concrete examples in the paraghraps。 Lovely describing。 A brand new start in reconsidering the shame versus the feeling of guilt。 Different sides of the same problem。 What makes people want to change is guilt and not shame。 Shame makes you say "I AM A BAD PERSON"， when guilt makes you say "I'VE DONE A BAD THING"。 Looks similar but the first one makes you believe and feel that you are wrong as a whole， and the second one spoke specific。 。。。more
Genia Barnard
，
This was an awesome book on vulnerability and shame。 Having this book is a must for everyone。 Brene really breaks it down why we behave the way we do and wonder why we still keep feeling terrible， shameful， and fearful。 I am forever grateful that I came across this amazing book that has helped shine a light into my dark places。
Kaitlin
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My love for Brene Brown grows deeper the more I interact with her and truly I feel like she’s speaking directly to me in her writing and speaking （I’m a faithful listener of both of her podcasts）。 I am deeply interested in and passionate about her research and I love the personal and human stories she weaves into her writing to give it more meaning。 My one critique is that this book is at times hard to digest because every sentence is so poignant。 If I had a highlighter with me while reading， mo My love for Brene Brown grows deeper the more I interact with her and truly I feel like she’s speaking directly to me in her writing and speaking （I’m a faithful listener of both of her podcasts）。 I am deeply interested in and passionate about her research and I love the personal and human stories she weaves into her writing to give it more meaning。 My one critique is that this book is at times hard to digest because every sentence is so poignant。 If I had a highlighter with me while reading， most of the book would be highlighted。 It will definitely be one I go back to again and again， especially once I become a parent。 。。。more
Stephanie
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I really wanted to like this book after having heard so much and waiting so long。 But I just couldn't get into it and then had to rush to return it before it was due。 There was something about her approach that I just couldn't connect with， except for the chapter about shame and especially the differences between how men and women experience shame。 Perhaps it would have helped if I had listened to one of Brown's Ted Talks first because I hear that she does a great job there。 I still have the boo I really wanted to like this book after having heard so much and waiting so long。 But I just couldn't get into it and then had to rush to return it before it was due。 There was something about her approach that I just couldn't connect with， except for the chapter about shame and especially the differences between how men and women experience shame。 Perhaps it would have helped if I had listened to one of Brown's Ted Talks first because I hear that she does a great job there。 I still have the book on hold as an audiobook so perhaps I can better connect that way in a few months :） 。。。more
Kristyn
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I can’t say enough how much I love brene brown’s work。 So much of this book resonated with me。 Even when I began reading certain parts， and I thought to myself， “oh this doesn’t apply to me，” it felt like brene was talking to me when she’d say how one might think it doesn’t apply to them， and then just shares so much knowledge that helped clarify many of my misconceptions。 Authentic connections and courage。 I think this is a book everyone should read at some point。
Kristina Webb
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Will be rereading with a notepad。 I love how Brenē is able to cut through the crap and make sense
Genevieve Lyons
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I know I am like six years late to all the cool stuff。 This was fab。 Something here for everyone， maybe。 I listened to the audio which was read by Brene。 I found her to be humble and authentic and insightful。 Also had some interesting overlaps with The Power of Habit -- that was fascinating。
Merrilee Boniface
，
3。5 stars。 I found this author very relatable。 I’d like to read more of her work。
Kate
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Reading this for book club。 Super boring。。。it's like being forced to read something against your will for a college class。 Reading this for book club。 Super boring。。。it's like being forced to read something against your will for a college class。 。。。more
Misty
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Uh， I don't understand the hype。 Uh， I don't understand the hype。 。。。more
Deirdre
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Listen to on audio， read by the author。This is a good listen， a little like an extended podcast， but it is the kind of body you might want to highlight or take notes on so hard copy is probably a better choice over audio。 Brené shares the insights on vulnerability she has learned over her years of research， it is a strong message and worth being listened to especially by anyone in a leadership role。
Yasemin
，
I have got a few major insights， so it was a helpful book。 But I have struggled to keep it structured during the whole book。 The analysis was not easy to follow， as it has a synthetic order in my opinion。
Oscar Romero
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I agree with few readers that started this book and got somehow stuck---and did not want to finish it---but， after getting back to it--I did find so many other great information that makes this book worth reading it--or， like me， listening to it。 I was able to identify myself quite well about how do we know how to raise our kids and how wrong we could be---when trying to make them see our perspective。。。and the fact-that they may never be able to see it-as they are not us-they are their own uniqu I agree with few readers that started this book and got somehow stuck---and did not want to finish it---but， after getting back to it--I did find so many other great information that makes this book worth reading it--or， like me， listening to it。 I was able to identify myself quite well about how do we know how to raise our kids and how wrong we could be---when trying to make them see our perspective。。。and the fact-that they may never be able to see it-as they are not us-they are their own unique person。。。。they own unique make up-with their own unique experiences。 And that is exactly what prevents them to see our perspectives。。。。I guess。 That， by itself， made this book well worth it。 And I think we all should read it， possible more than once。 I wish I had， before I had kids。。。。 。。。more
Rob Mayfield
，
A really good book with some really great ideas。 It didn’t impact me as much as I was hoping/expecting， but I still think it is worth your time。I really liked the ideas around being the type of person you want your kids to be。Also， I’m a huge fan of the Teddy Roosevelt quote that the book is based on。
Tara Brandman
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3/28/21
Jen Janzen
，